


Spotlight

by drowning_in_daydreams



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Cheating, Drug-Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence, Non-Graphic Smut, Read the tags kids, Toxic Relationship, my inspiration was the song Spotlight by lil peep & marshmello
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22807099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowning_in_daydreams/pseuds/drowning_in_daydreams
Summary: Doyoung thinks love is an ugly thing.The world doesn’t show him otherwise.Please read the tags first.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Spotlight

**Author's Note:**

> This took me a long time to write but I’m proud of it okay.  
> Thanks to my best friend for criticising my spelling and grammar and all the support in general (if u find this; I love you, Angel.)

People had told him love was an easy and beautiful thing. He had believed them as a child, of course. Surrounded by his family and friends, love was a given. Something that was there at all times. Except that it got less and less the older he got.  
Easy, Doyoung thought, was something entirely different. Nothing to describe something like love. Or friendship. Or school. Or life. Actually, now that he thought about it, nothing was really easy at all. You wanted to be good at something? Takes a lot of effort. You want to fail? You get a shit ton of consequences. Dying? Not easy at all. Too many chances you fail and wake up in a hospital afterwards and Doyoung would rather waste away doing nothing than trying to commit suicide and possibly end up being crippled instead. Nothing of that is beautiful. Also, you have to put effort into it.

Effort. Something he liked to avoid. The lack thereof being the reason people usually didn’t stick around long or disappeared just to turn up for a month or two. Just like his boyfriend.

He had been in a bad space mentally and physically when he met Jaehyun. It had gotten better for a while. The calm before the storm, as his mother liked to say. Jaehyun had distracted him from his bad episodes for a while. They had seemed perfect for eachother. They‘d go out for coffee together, Jaehyun would tell him about uni and Doyoung would talk about work. Sometimes they‘d go out to clubs and karaoke bars or get high together in Doyoung‘s small apartment, windows closed so the neighbours wouldn‘t call the cops on them again.

But every thing that seems perfect, will fall apart sooner or later. It had begun with little things. One of them would have a bad day and would snap at the other. It used to end with one ignoring the other for a couple of days, then the bickering turned into loud arguments. It wasn‘t long before one of their fights turned physical. Doyoung really hadn‘t meant to punch Jaehyun. It just sort of happened. Jaehyun had not talked to him for weeks although Doyoung told him he was sorry. Told him it was an accident, that he had meant to punch the wall instead of Jaehyun’s jaw.

They met at a club almost a month later. It had been purely coincidental and glaringly obvious both of them had been looking to take someone home that night. Doyoung had made sure that the only person to come near Jaehyun that night was him.

They ended up fucking at Doyoung’s place and Jaehyun staying the night. The next morning, Doyoung woke up to Jaehyun smoking in the sad area he called his kitchen, eating some left over Chinese take-out from the fridge.  
After that night, they went on so-called dates and met up regularly again. It was as if somebody had just flipped a reset-switch. They decided to ignore the fact that Doyoung had gotten physical. Decided to ignore that both had thought they were done for and had gone out to find some stranger to fill the emptiness that they had almost gotten used to during that one month of loneliness.

Everything seemed fine for a while. Sure, some things had changed. Jaehyun now had a septum(he was pissed when Doyoung hadn’t commented on it right away) and Doyoung drank more. There also was the tense-ness of not entirely trusting each other whenever one of them looked at someone else just a tad too long.  
After a while, Jaehyun stopped taking Doyoung along to friends nights out just to avoid Doyoung snapping at them for simple things such as hugging Jaehyun. He stopped telling Doyoung when he went out with his friends because the latter started calling him a whore for staying the night at a friends house without informing him.

Eventually, Jaehyun decided he had enough and announced he was breaking up with Doyoung — over text, mind you.

Doyoung’s evenings now consisted of several bottles of soju and half a pack of cigarettes.

Although his eating habits were bad, going grocery shopping was something Doyoung had to do every now and then. It usually ended with little children staring at the “sad-looking blue-hair-guy with metal on his face and look, mommy! He has so much to drink in his cart. Why can’t we buy more apple-juice?”

But Doyoung was indifferent to that. What he wasn’t indifferent towards, however, was a smiley Jaehyun. A smiley Jaehyun without him.

But this was okay, right? This is fine, isn’t it? Nothing lasts forever. That’s what we’re taught. That’s how life works, right? Nothing lasts forever. This is fine. It’s not like it’s the end of the world. Nothing to be sad about- nothing to be mad about. Except that your now-ex-boyfriend is holding hands with the pink-haired guy you saw him greet while you were still a thing. Sharing ice-cream and kisses.

Whoever that cotton-candy flower-boy was, Doyoung was having none of it. If you think he was decent enough to let his ex have a date in peace literal one and a half weeks after they broke up, you are mistaken.  
Not thinking about consequences, Doyoung dropped his groceries, walzed over to the couple and shoved the little pink guy away from Jaehyun, forcing a surprised gasp and a “Hey” from said boy.

“Doyoung, what the fuck are you doing?!”

Doyoung ignored Jaehyun in favour of pulling at his date's pink hair who whimpered in response.

“Hey. Let Taeyong go”,Jaehyun’s voice sounded from the left.

“Bitch.”, Doyoung spat, shoving the boy backwards so he tripped over the sidewalk, falling onto the ground.

“Doyoung!”, Jaehyun shoved Doyoung away from Taeyong and shielded the latter with his body, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh!? Leave my boyfriend alone.”

“Boyfriend?”, Doyoung scoffed. Well, that was fast. “Pink-haired bitch looks more like a hooker.”

“What. Is. Your. Goddamn. Problem?”, Jaehyun gritted out, eyes flashing with anger.

“My problem? What’s my problem? I dunno. That bitch on the ground you said was your boyfriend, maybe?”, Doyoung closed in on Jaehyun, invading his personal space, “How long, huh? Don’t think I don’t remember him. I know you two know each other longer than a month. So, how long? Since I punched your bloody face? Or since that night at the club, huh? How long do you have that slut- ow!” Doyoung stumbled backwards, holding his jaw, glaring at Jaehyun.

“That’s what you get for messing with Taeyong. Hurts, right? Who would’ve thought. Now leave us the fuck alone. We are done, Doyoung. Done.”

Doyoung sat down on the cold pavement, ignoring the stares he was getting from passerbyes and watched how Jaehyun helped Taeyong up and held him close while they walked away from him. From the mess that called himself a human being. He reached for his shopping bags, pulled out a bottle of soju and started drinking, wondering if he should go back to buy more.

“We’re done, huh? Why did you come crawling back to me then, hm? Can’t get enough of me?”  
Doyoung hadn’t believed his eyes when Jaehyun had appeared on his doorstep looking like hell with a breakup, asking to come in. He had let him in and offered him a beer although a nagging voice in the back of his head told him it was a bad idea to invite your ex-boyfriend to your house. Jaehyun had said nothing further, just sat down on the couch silently drinking his beer. That is until he sat on Doyoung’s lap and started kissing him. And that’s where they were now, making out on Doyoung’s sofa, his hands on Jaehyun’s waist and Jaehyun’s hands tugging at his hair.

Jaehyun was gone when Doyoung woke up. Disappointing but foreseeable. He sighed and went to get a can of beer. Doyoung caught his reflection in the darkness of his phone screen and switched it to camera so he could properly see all the marks Jaehyun had left on his neck and chest area last night. Tracing them, he recalled early memories of Jaehyun and him. When they used to be a little less broken. He silently hoped that Jaehyun would come visit again. Even just to stay the night. Pink-haired boyfriend or not.  
And he did come. More than once.

Doyoung lived for the moments Jaehyun came to his flat. Loved the way Jaehyun would apologise and promise he’d never leave again although they both knew he might be gone the very next day. When it was just the two of them. No one else. Doyoung was in charge. He lived for the moments Jaehyun put him in the spotlight.

**Author's Note:**

> (Minor corrections: 2020.09.14

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [broken smile (my all)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25223197) by [vampirevessel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirevessel/pseuds/vampirevessel)




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